Ill put my pen to my paper to write something to change the way you think
Ill write I'm sorry's to the god I was too afraid to believe in
To confess my sins to beads that are meant to represent forgiveness.
Sing forget-me-nots to the children in the cancer wing who only want one chance to feel grass between their toes before they close there eyes one… last… time.
I want to write something that will make your mother cry like daddies going to war leaving little Jenny to hope he comes back.
Because moms on minimum wage and cant afford a living these days.
At 5 Jenny will forget what daddy smells like,
Cinnamon and alcohol because daddy's not coming home in a body bag, but instead in a box of ashes.
I want to write something that will make you inhale so deep you will thank god for breathing, because what if it stopped.
What if time was running out, like clocks ticking time is slowing down and you cant breath in?
Drowning was you worst fear, and you can't swim.
30 feet of water above you, and 50 feet down.
Suffocation…
I want to write something that's going to make you wish you told him/her you loved them,
Because I'm holding the gun to their head and all they're thinking of is how beautiful you are.
Bang!
Silence…
I want to write something that's going to make you think of who you are and what you aren't.
I'm going to write something that's going to make you wish you will never forget,
Like 20 years of marriage and 3 children praying to god that daddy will remember them,
That daddy knows who they are and the bump on his head heals.
Motorcycles clashing like thunder couldn't mean memories lost forever.
I want to write something that going to make you think because this could be your last chance.
I want to put my pen to my paper and make you feel,
Life
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
day 10
Say you care, that love decayed.
So this is where Purgatory melts into fire.
Where the salvaged are marked as the damned.
tears scream as they fall-die on impact.
Laughter floats down off the bliss of my impunity.
Cast away all our forsaken hopes- dreams like dust.
No longer waiting for hope to renew us.
I want to sink my teeth into the truth as tho it was aluminum foil.
Now my heart sighs as the heat laps me into the jaws of damnation.
Angels weep for my fallen form, and the demons beckon a dance.
Will you join me…or mourn my fall?
So this is where Purgatory melts into fire.
Where the salvaged are marked as the damned.
tears scream as they fall-die on impact.
Laughter floats down off the bliss of my impunity.
Cast away all our forsaken hopes- dreams like dust.
No longer waiting for hope to renew us.
I want to sink my teeth into the truth as tho it was aluminum foil.
Now my heart sighs as the heat laps me into the jaws of damnation.
Angels weep for my fallen form, and the demons beckon a dance.
Will you join me…or mourn my fall?
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
day 9
I'm sorry to sound sadistic, but when you fell on your face the other day
when some jerk tripped you,
I couldn't help but laugh and keep walking.
I know it's not the most sisterly thing to do but hey look at how we grew up.
Do you remember the time I told you if you stick a tic tack up your nose you could see a unicorn?
Because I do.
I also remember laughing the whole way to the emergency room and mom screaming thing at me I could never repeat again.
I also remember telling you that the cigarette lighter in the car were really special. And it you touched one you would get magical powers.
Well you did try it, and I was beaming with joy because I was 5 and I tricked a 2 year old.
You see even as we grew up, you still did everything I told you to, and copied everything I did.
And I hated every moment of it.
Because I wanted you to show me I was wrong,
And you could take care of yourself.
You won't fall for my tricks anymore, no you wouldn't dare.
But even now I know if I told you that if you swallowed a quarter you could see lepers, you would still think of trying it.
Doesn't always mean you would do it, but you'd think of it.Doesn't always mean you would do it, but you'd think of it.
Maybe it's not the most sisterly thing to do,
but its my way of teaching you how to learn from your sisters mistakes.
It's not always easy for me to be older,
but you will know what not to do.
Because I'll always tell you to do it,
And next time you won't listen.
when some jerk tripped you,
I couldn't help but laugh and keep walking.
I know it's not the most sisterly thing to do but hey look at how we grew up.
Do you remember the time I told you if you stick a tic tack up your nose you could see a unicorn?
Because I do.
I also remember laughing the whole way to the emergency room and mom screaming thing at me I could never repeat again.
I also remember telling you that the cigarette lighter in the car were really special. And it you touched one you would get magical powers.
Well you did try it, and I was beaming with joy because I was 5 and I tricked a 2 year old.
You see even as we grew up, you still did everything I told you to, and copied everything I did.
And I hated every moment of it.
Because I wanted you to show me I was wrong,
And you could take care of yourself.
You won't fall for my tricks anymore, no you wouldn't dare.
But even now I know if I told you that if you swallowed a quarter you could see lepers, you would still think of trying it.
Doesn't always mean you would do it, but you'd think of it.Doesn't always mean you would do it, but you'd think of it.
Maybe it's not the most sisterly thing to do,
but its my way of teaching you how to learn from your sisters mistakes.
It's not always easy for me to be older,
but you will know what not to do.
Because I'll always tell you to do it,
And next time you won't listen.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
day 8
A rocket glued to the ground trying to life off.
Fear would rap and tap its way into its soul like a time bomb;
just in seconds of going off.
Thrust you body with me like fire,
Because what happens if we don’t wake up?
Raise your silver cups to heaven and scream why!
Ripped from children’s hands,
take there light that they cling to with all they have got.
This I love from a murders perspective a thief’s promise and a rapist’s word.
Forgiven of what they’ve done getting to start over with the flip of a switch.
Electric chair to my heart,
Hit the button and let me scream.
Dose he laugh because you’re broken art,
Or because you have nothing left to differentiate you from what you shattered in the process of everlasting life.
Knives and rope pulled tight cutting deep.
Circulation will cease like butterflies smothering in the heat.
Breathe deep so you will remember purgatory’s smell and taste,
like the forbidden fruit never meant to be touched.
What happens if we don’t wake up?
As we downed the pills that promise us a better world.
Please say you cared because time will decay us,
Make us fall apart like a locus about to shed and die.
If you don’t will the earth breaks to broken peaces,
will the salvaged be marked as the dammed?
At least in his eyes.
Tears scream as they fall-die on impact.
Laughter floats down off the bliss of my impunity.
Cast away all our forsaken hopes- dreams like dust.
No longer waiting for hope to renew us.
I want to sink my teeth into the truth as though it was aluminum foil.
Now my heart sighs as the heat laps me into the jaws of damnation.
Hold me!
What happens if we don’t wake up tomorrow?
Will Jesus smile on me and pretend to be my rapist,
Or will he lie next to me as his daughter and cry?
Fear would rap and tap its way into its soul like a time bomb;
just in seconds of going off.
Thrust you body with me like fire,
Because what happens if we don’t wake up?
Raise your silver cups to heaven and scream why!
Ripped from children’s hands,
take there light that they cling to with all they have got.
This I love from a murders perspective a thief’s promise and a rapist’s word.
Forgiven of what they’ve done getting to start over with the flip of a switch.
Electric chair to my heart,
Hit the button and let me scream.
Dose he laugh because you’re broken art,
Or because you have nothing left to differentiate you from what you shattered in the process of everlasting life.
Knives and rope pulled tight cutting deep.
Circulation will cease like butterflies smothering in the heat.
Breathe deep so you will remember purgatory’s smell and taste,
like the forbidden fruit never meant to be touched.
What happens if we don’t wake up?
As we downed the pills that promise us a better world.
Please say you cared because time will decay us,
Make us fall apart like a locus about to shed and die.
If you don’t will the earth breaks to broken peaces,
will the salvaged be marked as the dammed?
At least in his eyes.
Tears scream as they fall-die on impact.
Laughter floats down off the bliss of my impunity.
Cast away all our forsaken hopes- dreams like dust.
No longer waiting for hope to renew us.
I want to sink my teeth into the truth as though it was aluminum foil.
Now my heart sighs as the heat laps me into the jaws of damnation.
Hold me!
What happens if we don’t wake up tomorrow?
Will Jesus smile on me and pretend to be my rapist,
Or will he lie next to me as his daughter and cry?
Monday, May 7, 2007
DAY 7!!!!!
They say pictures are worth a thousand words,
And I’d like to know what mine actually means.
Would it say jealous of him?
Acts like a child 24/7,
No,
I think its only going to be worth those 5 second moments in time,
Wasted time passed, not really worth looking back on.
I want my pictures to be real.
Pictures that are worth taking
Like when I first close my eyes at 3 o’clock in the morning when I realize sleep is within my grasp.
Moments, I fall down looking up completely red faced with everyone watching.
Pictures of me hugging my mother afraid she won’t come home from work and this is the last time I’ll see her smileing face.
I want pictures of words because I want people that look at those pictures and tell me the real meaning because most meanings are not worth my time.
And I’d like to know what mine actually means.
Would it say jealous of him?
Acts like a child 24/7,
No,
I think its only going to be worth those 5 second moments in time,
Wasted time passed, not really worth looking back on.
I want my pictures to be real.
Pictures that are worth taking
Like when I first close my eyes at 3 o’clock in the morning when I realize sleep is within my grasp.
Moments, I fall down looking up completely red faced with everyone watching.
Pictures of me hugging my mother afraid she won’t come home from work and this is the last time I’ll see her smileing face.
I want pictures of words because I want people that look at those pictures and tell me the real meaning because most meanings are not worth my time.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Saturday, May 5, 2007
day 5 this is starting to bore me ><
depressing poem i rock lol
Say you care, that love decayed.
So this is where Purgatory melts into fire.
Where the salvaged are marked as the damned.
tears scream as they fall-die on impact.
Laughter floats down off the bliss of my impunity.
Cast away all our forsaken hopes- dreams like dust.
No longer waiting for hope to renew us.
I want to sink my teeth into the truth as tho it was aluminum foil.
Now my heart sighs as the heat laps me into the jaws of damnation.
Angels weep for my fallen form, and the demons beckon a dance.
Will you join me…or mourn my fall?
Say you care, that love decayed.
So this is where Purgatory melts into fire.
Where the salvaged are marked as the damned.
tears scream as they fall-die on impact.
Laughter floats down off the bliss of my impunity.
Cast away all our forsaken hopes- dreams like dust.
No longer waiting for hope to renew us.
I want to sink my teeth into the truth as tho it was aluminum foil.
Now my heart sighs as the heat laps me into the jaws of damnation.
Angels weep for my fallen form, and the demons beckon a dance.
Will you join me…or mourn my fall?
Friday, May 4, 2007
day 4
ok so i took in the subject of asking out a guy going to shepperd dono why but a friend gave me the subjet and so here it is
When I used to look at you I thought of sunlight,
now it seems that darkness has wrapped around you like a hail storm,
and there’s no trace of it about to let up.
Because when I reached out to touch you I must feel like sand paper,
watching you pull away ripped at my heart,
and I don’t understand what I did wrong.
I thought you were my best friend,
and the way you would wrap your arms around me and not let go,
I was beginning to, think you felt more.
maybe I started to believe it.
Like living in Alaska we switched to no light for months.
and with out the sunlight we would die like plants,
screaming and starving for our only life force.
Looking into your once deep blue sky eyes,
they’ve clouded over and now there’s nothing left but rain.
I think telling you in the hallway yesterday didn’t hit until just now.
You told me yesterday you felt the same.
Rays of light spewed off of you and into my soul.
Making that carefree reaction last all the way from then until just now.
So when I leaned in to ask what was wrong,
You spilled your thoughts in the puddle before me.
Left and right words turn to waterfalls then silence.
I had to sort them out until you spoke.
I’m getting sent to Shepard.
Baseball bat to the face,
Inject me with Novocain because sunlight can’t reach me here.
once you go there you’re not coming back the same.
My rays of sunlight were stolen until he returns and all I can do is watch for the next sunrise.
And hope that light will always be there behind the darkening clouds deep in his eyes.
When that light dissapears
I know I’m being drug to the bottom of an ocean
weight of your sorrows
pushing my farther from the surface.
For my own selfish sake don’t lose you rays
I’m not ready to drown.
I’m not ready to die
Your takeing in all I have left in my heart and sending it to war.
When I used to look at you I thought of sunlight,
now it seems that darkness has wrapped around you like a hail storm,
and there’s no trace of it about to let up.
Because when I reached out to touch you I must feel like sand paper,
watching you pull away ripped at my heart,
and I don’t understand what I did wrong.
I thought you were my best friend,
and the way you would wrap your arms around me and not let go,
I was beginning to, think you felt more.
maybe I started to believe it.
Like living in Alaska we switched to no light for months.
and with out the sunlight we would die like plants,
screaming and starving for our only life force.
Looking into your once deep blue sky eyes,
they’ve clouded over and now there’s nothing left but rain.
I think telling you in the hallway yesterday didn’t hit until just now.
You told me yesterday you felt the same.
Rays of light spewed off of you and into my soul.
Making that carefree reaction last all the way from then until just now.
So when I leaned in to ask what was wrong,
You spilled your thoughts in the puddle before me.
Left and right words turn to waterfalls then silence.
I had to sort them out until you spoke.
I’m getting sent to Shepard.
Baseball bat to the face,
Inject me with Novocain because sunlight can’t reach me here.
once you go there you’re not coming back the same.
My rays of sunlight were stolen until he returns and all I can do is watch for the next sunrise.
And hope that light will always be there behind the darkening clouds deep in his eyes.
When that light dissapears
I know I’m being drug to the bottom of an ocean
weight of your sorrows
pushing my farther from the surface.
For my own selfish sake don’t lose you rays
I’m not ready to drown.
I’m not ready to die
Your takeing in all I have left in my heart and sending it to war.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
day 3 oh snap
When I asked you that day in the hallway,
“Can you teach me to be strong like you”,
You just looked at me with those child’s eyes filled with wonder and said.
“You’re a lot stronger than me”
It hit me like a brick to the face.
That I wasn’t even close to being as strong as you.
How did you keep standing when you were pushed time and time again?
Because I’ve watched you fall over and over and you refuse to let me in.
Where does this courage come from to keep you living each day like nothing went wrong.
I see the bruises and the pain written accost your forehead.
And I was wondering.
Can you take five minuets out of your day and teach me,
teach me how to be strong.
I want to be just like you,
The one they all pick on because you’re the one that doesn’t talk much.
Or when principal called you out of fifth grade and stood in the hallway and she told you your mom and dad were in an accident and didn’t know if they were going to survive.
And you just stood there and didn’t say anything until they asked you what you wanted to do.
And all you said was “what do you think would be the best thing to do”.
You left half the class in shock and the principle as well because they didn’t expect that.
They all expected you to double over chest heaving and eyes filled to the brim with tears and you would have gone home that day,
But you didn’t because it was your decision,
Mom would want you to stay in school.
Because you were in the middle of a test and you needed to pass because you couldn’t afford one bad grade”.
Because you wanted to make it in collage and only smart kids get grants because you couldn’t afford it.
You didn’t want to end up like your mother who walks the streets and sell her self for a small amount of money to keep it so you had a good life.
You didn’t want to end up like your father who repeatedly through your mom around and bruised her on almost every place that could be broken.
I want to be strong like you to look death in the eyes and say leave my mom alone.
Then you would hit pavement and your mother would cry over her son just like this was it and you wouldn’t wake up.
The next day,
you didn’t come to school,
the papers said you were murdered,
a metal Base bat to the chest and your heart just gave out.
And the more I think about it I bet you walked right up to god and said you were sorry because you weren’t strong enough.
And when god looked you in the eyes I know he told you that you are human and strength isn’t always measured in how much you can move or how hard you punch its measured in your heart.
And in his eyes you weren’t strong you were even better.
To this day I want to be just like you.
I want to look death striate in the eyes and say “I’m not afraid!”
And I know you can hear me from were you are and I have to ask,
Ryan can you teach me to be strong,
to be strong just like you.
likes critism please
“Can you teach me to be strong like you”,
You just looked at me with those child’s eyes filled with wonder and said.
“You’re a lot stronger than me”
It hit me like a brick to the face.
That I wasn’t even close to being as strong as you.
How did you keep standing when you were pushed time and time again?
Because I’ve watched you fall over and over and you refuse to let me in.
Where does this courage come from to keep you living each day like nothing went wrong.
I see the bruises and the pain written accost your forehead.
And I was wondering.
Can you take five minuets out of your day and teach me,
teach me how to be strong.
I want to be just like you,
The one they all pick on because you’re the one that doesn’t talk much.
Or when principal called you out of fifth grade and stood in the hallway and she told you your mom and dad were in an accident and didn’t know if they were going to survive.
And you just stood there and didn’t say anything until they asked you what you wanted to do.
And all you said was “what do you think would be the best thing to do”.
You left half the class in shock and the principle as well because they didn’t expect that.
They all expected you to double over chest heaving and eyes filled to the brim with tears and you would have gone home that day,
But you didn’t because it was your decision,
Mom would want you to stay in school.
Because you were in the middle of a test and you needed to pass because you couldn’t afford one bad grade”.
Because you wanted to make it in collage and only smart kids get grants because you couldn’t afford it.
You didn’t want to end up like your mother who walks the streets and sell her self for a small amount of money to keep it so you had a good life.
You didn’t want to end up like your father who repeatedly through your mom around and bruised her on almost every place that could be broken.
I want to be strong like you to look death in the eyes and say leave my mom alone.
Then you would hit pavement and your mother would cry over her son just like this was it and you wouldn’t wake up.
The next day,
you didn’t come to school,
the papers said you were murdered,
a metal Base bat to the chest and your heart just gave out.
And the more I think about it I bet you walked right up to god and said you were sorry because you weren’t strong enough.
And when god looked you in the eyes I know he told you that you are human and strength isn’t always measured in how much you can move or how hard you punch its measured in your heart.
And in his eyes you weren’t strong you were even better.
To this day I want to be just like you.
I want to look death striate in the eyes and say “I’m not afraid!”
And I know you can hear me from were you are and I have to ask,
Ryan can you teach me to be strong,
to be strong just like you.
likes critism please
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
i think i like the break up thing lol Day 2
im so into the breking up thing that i wasn messin with words and yea this is how it ended up lol
(work not finished first draft please help me i dont think a lot of this is publish worth but o well i tryed right?)
I’m breaking up with you,
I’m not ready for your arms wrapped tight unable to let go love.
You’re taking in all I have left in my heart and sending it to war.
Your skin is like sandpaper thrashing against mine when we touch
I tremble as you reach for my heart
you can only shred it to peaces with your razorblade hands
as we lace our fingers together for the last time
once you hold me tight ill break
no longer able to take the shelter you offer
id rather stand in the rain and weep
waiting for refugees to trample me over as they escape the open doors of prison
only to find me hiding in the shadows in there wake
When you remember what lies I told you
I love you…
Light will disappear and shrink into the distance
I know I’m being drug to the bottom of an ocean
weight of your sorrows
pushing my farther from the surface of your retinas
I’m breaking up with you,
I’m sure after I’m gone u will forget me
Memories fade into the background of your life.
And that’s what I wanted
At least what I need to continue to survive
I’m not ready for your arms wrapped tight unable to let go love.
You’re taking in all I have left in my heart and sending it to war.
Your skin is like sandpaper thrashing against mine when we touch
I tremble as you reach for my heart
you can only shred it to peaces with your razorblade hands
as we lace our fingers together for the last time
once you hold me tight ill break
no longer able to take the shelter you offer
id rather stand in the rain and weep
waiting for refugees to trample me over as they escape the open doors of prison
only to find me hiding in the shadows in there wake
When you remember what lies I told you
I love you…
Light will disappear and shrink into the distance
I know I’m being drug to the bottom of an ocean
weight of your sorrows
pushing my farther from the surface of your retinas
I’m breaking up with you,
I’m sure after I’m gone u will forget me
Memories fade into the background of your life.
And that’s what I wanted
At least what I need to continue to survive
and that means ninja and thats what the pole is ^^
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
wow its my first blog!! Exciting ^^
Ok first off (i cant spell.......ever... or even puncuate... at all....its crazy i know)
now that i got that off my chest i feel much better!
I was givin a topic for my post when i was bord and asking people what i should wright about!!!
Topic- I'm breaking up with you....
so i canged it im wrighting a break up letter to a video game i have recently been obseset with.
Awsome i kno!
Anyway im done rambling sorry.
Dear Runescape,
I know we have spent a good three long weeks together but I think we need to take a break. Maybe if we feel like we miss each other later on we can give it another try. Do you remember when it was you and I and we would go around together and it would be just innocent love? Well things have changed now you just don’t act the same any more.
We have connection problems and we don’t spend enough time together. I remember when we would just find quests and we could just go around and we would always be together. Just you and I not big groups of people all working together, it was us.
I would spend all my time with you and play and play until very late at night. You provoked me to stay with you because I just wasn’t able to beat all the rest of our obstacles, to protect you from all things evil and painful. I thought we were going to be together forever and I thought you thought so too. But now things are starting to change and this has to end.
I’d like to say its not you it’s me but honestly it’s you. Your graphics drive me crazy. Sometimes I don’t know the difference between me and a tree, and sometimes I don’t think you do either. Your quests are way out of date and you have nothing new to offer. Its just the same old things defeat all monsters or fetch objects for people and you get money or experience from it.
I’d like to also mention how you give special benefits to people who can afford you. I give you all kinds of things, my time for instance, and I do all of your stupid quests and what do I get? Not even mention on the high scores page my level isn’t good enough to fit your top ninety nine no I have to be near the end somewhere.
Your need for attechen just grew as you introduced me to three ways and then eventually twelve ways and people didn’t know what to do down in your dungeons. People got crazy hacking and slashing at everything that moved. It was becoming to be a little to much for me.
I know you will wish I was still around once I’m gone ask me to start out all over again, but I don’t think I could take it. I know having the most money is important and all but having all that money just isn’t enough anymore. I need more than that! The adventure is gone the creatures don’t get stronger and I can’t get any better. You don’t get any better; having to spend all my weekends on you every second is exhausting.
I know the first few weeks with out you will be hard so I’m not going to listen to your calls or your emails. I think this is for the good even if you don’t. So my dearest I’d like to say its been great but really it’s been a waste of my time.
Your ex-devoted love
krista
I know we have spent a good three long weeks together but I think we need to take a break. Maybe if we feel like we miss each other later on we can give it another try. Do you remember when it was you and I and we would go around together and it would be just innocent love? Well things have changed now you just don’t act the same any more.
We have connection problems and we don’t spend enough time together. I remember when we would just find quests and we could just go around and we would always be together. Just you and I not big groups of people all working together, it was us.
I would spend all my time with you and play and play until very late at night. You provoked me to stay with you because I just wasn’t able to beat all the rest of our obstacles, to protect you from all things evil and painful. I thought we were going to be together forever and I thought you thought so too. But now things are starting to change and this has to end.
I’d like to say its not you it’s me but honestly it’s you. Your graphics drive me crazy. Sometimes I don’t know the difference between me and a tree, and sometimes I don’t think you do either. Your quests are way out of date and you have nothing new to offer. Its just the same old things defeat all monsters or fetch objects for people and you get money or experience from it.
I’d like to also mention how you give special benefits to people who can afford you. I give you all kinds of things, my time for instance, and I do all of your stupid quests and what do I get? Not even mention on the high scores page my level isn’t good enough to fit your top ninety nine no I have to be near the end somewhere.
Your need for attechen just grew as you introduced me to three ways and then eventually twelve ways and people didn’t know what to do down in your dungeons. People got crazy hacking and slashing at everything that moved. It was becoming to be a little to much for me.
I know you will wish I was still around once I’m gone ask me to start out all over again, but I don’t think I could take it. I know having the most money is important and all but having all that money just isn’t enough anymore. I need more than that! The adventure is gone the creatures don’t get stronger and I can’t get any better. You don’t get any better; having to spend all my weekends on you every second is exhausting.
I know the first few weeks with out you will be hard so I’m not going to listen to your calls or your emails. I think this is for the good even if you don’t. So my dearest I’d like to say its been great but really it’s been a waste of my time.
Your ex-devoted love
krista
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